Friday, December 07, 2007

Come by Art vs. Craft #7!

... and see this new monkey! S/he sports redwhiteandblue because s/he's French.

Art vs. Craft is Saturday, December 8, from 10am to 7pm.

Note the new location:
The Humphrey Scottish Rite Masonic Center, 790 N. Van Buren, Milwaukee.
(It's on the corner of E. Wells Street and N. Van Buren.)
(A few blocks to the north and east (Cass Street, Marshall Street) you can find free street parking (though watch the time limits!) )

You can eat breakfast at the Plaza Cafe two blocks to the north, on Cass. Join me there for breakfast at 7am!

Here's what I'm selling!

This is a close-up of a new collage called "Hibernation." You can see the evolution of the process here: http://collagedecollage.blogspot.com/


Besides collages (see pricelist below) here is what I'll be selling:

Post Cards (hand painted/colored) – 50¢

Magazines (new and vintage) special price – 50¢

Greeting Cards (w/envelopes and postage!) – $2

2008 Sandwich and Cocktail Calendar – $4

Mobius Strip Underwear – $5

Sock Monkeys – $20

Sculpture (Easter) – $25

Mask – $25

also:
2 Sock Horses – free to a good home! (must keep them together)
Sock Cowboy Dog – free to a good home!

40 Collages — (see collage pricelist)

Collage Extravaganza

I have 40 (Forty!) (that's the same amount of ounces in a "forty") collages for sale, one day only, Art vs. Craft, Saturday, December 8, 2007, 10am to 7pm. Some of these are new, some have never been for sale before, and some are at the lowest prices ever! Here is a list, with prices:

80 Photos – 10
9:10 AM – 35
Bamboo – 60
Breath – 80
Childhood – 45
Clint (3 panel) – 40
Columbia – 30
Crucifixion (w/Olives) – 70
D – 25
Dogs I – 55
Fit The – 20
Fou – 80
Gina – 30
Halloween – 45
Heart – 10
Herringbone – 65
Hibernation (2 panel) – 65
Holder – 30
In – 80
K-tt – 35
Life Of – 15
Lighter – 15
Me – 40
Mixer – 60
N – 30
No X – 50
Nourishment – 100
Olden – 40
On (2 panel) – 50
Orange Dot – 20
Play – 80
Raspberry – 70
So Apricot – 90
Talk #1 – 70
The Other – 25
The Sisters from Castle Rock – 60
Untitled – 70
We Love You – 40
Work – 50
Ya – 65

Thursday, December 06, 2007

2008 Sandwich and Cocktail Calendar

I just had the 2008 calendars printed. They are black and white, and on regular paper, but inexpensively priced! I also chose to leave off all holidays, making them apolitical and non-denominational. Each month features a different sandwich or sandwich idea. Some of them are never-before-attempted! Each month also features a different cocktail-- all of which really exist-- the recipes coming from drink books.

I also printed, in the calendar, the following essay by Ray Speen, who has a lot to say about these two subjects.


Sandwiches and Cocktails


Why sandwiches and cocktails? These two phenomena might seem incongruous, but if you look at the history and the essence of these two corner posts of modern living, they have much more in common than one might realize. Both are created by mixing two or more complimentary, though sometimes odd, elements together to make something in which the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. We now take for granted how strange some of these combinations must have seemed when they were first invented.

But there is a personal stake for me, too, with this subject. In 1992 I found out I could no longer eat wheat—wheat gluten, wheat flour, oats, rye, barley—and stay alive, so my diet was altered drastically. I don’t need to point out that bread is the foundation, and a necessary feature, of the sandwich. A year later I found out much the same thing about alcohol. Alcoholic beverages are even more important to a cocktail than bread is to a sandwich. Anyone over the ripe old age of 12... I mean 21, can tell you that “cranberry juice cocktail” is not A Cocktail. Some people have told me that, to them, life without these two culinary giants is not a life worth living. I have, however, managed to focus my passions in other directions, but meanwhile, I have taken on a rather fanatical, if somewhat misguided, from-a-distance obsession with these two taken-for-granted-by-most-of-society wonders of the world.

While the history of the cocktail goes all the way back to about 4000 BC (when, during the accidental discovery of fermentation, a flavoring agent was accidentally introduced to the brew), the history of the sandwich is often mythologized and misunderstood. First invented by Jon Montagnard, The 14th Earle of Sandwich, a Welsh military innovator, in 1492, the purpose of the innovation was so that Knights wouldn't have to leave the field of battle for lunch, thus freeing themselves of the several hours it took to extract them from cumbersome suits of armor. A lesser known innovation by Montagnais was a small metal compartment which was attached to the armor for carrying the sandwich—in effect, the first lunch box.

I don’t need to illustrate the ongoing crisis of the sandwich, propagated by the epidemic of fast food, particularly with hamburgers and submarine sandwiches. I have included in this calendar small sections about my most significant experiences in either realm.

The more recent, and more disturbing, trend is the destruction of the cocktail—in which our very culture is being desecrated by savvy, slimy, marketing hucksters in order to sell the worst possible product at the biggest profit. Vodka, a completely worthless and tasteless spirit, has all but taken over the liquor market in recent years. Except for very few exceptions, vodka is nothing but crude, distilled grain spirit with no subtlety or character, and attempts to disguise its foulness with trendy flavors just makes it worse.

The most tragic development, however, is the annihilation of the Martini, the most classic and venerable of all cocktails. The Martini is made only ONE way—high quality gin and a very small amount (though not none) of dry (French) Vermouth, STIRRED with ice, quickly—so it gets very cold but not diluted—and strained into a cocktail glass. An olive may be added as a garnish. James Bond’s insistence on a vodka “martini” shaken (the reason you stir and not shake is you want it to be crystal clear, not filled with air bubbles) proves that Bond was a double agent for the Russians all along, or worse, the Americans.

Even more appalling, in recent years, the word “Martini” has come to mean what “cocktail” used to mean. Now you go to a bar and they will offer a “Cosmopolitan Martini” or a “Margarita Martini”—which makes no sense at all. Cosmopolitans and Margaritas are COCKTAILS, the Martini is a COCKTAIL, but otherwise they have nothing to do with each other. This destruction of the language is unforgivable. It seems like the Gin manufacturers are content just to sit back while their ever more unpopular product dwindles as older drinkers retire and die off. Soon, no one will know what a real Martini is, there will be no more Gin, no more cocktails, no more culture, no more civilization.

—Ray Speen

Outdoor Sculpture


I had this outdoor sculpture, which is called "Easter," outside of my front door for several years. I think the elements have improved it-- but now I've decided to sell it. I would like if someone kept it outdoors, but it's not necessary to do that. I understand that eventually the elements would reduce it to nothing. But while that was happening, there would be changes going on which would be interesting to watch.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Mask or Not a Mask?

Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask Mask Not Mask

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Mobius Strip Underwear

Finally, the perfect gift for the hard-to-shop-for theoretical mathematician in you life: Mobius Strip Underwear!

If you are not familiar with the wonders of the Mobius Strip, this garment may not be for you, but for the right person, this could be the jewel of the Holiday Season. Mobius Strip Underwear come in several varieties, for men and women, and are all one-of-a-kind, hand-fashioned by legal wage compensated craftspersons with loving dedication. This certified “green” product consists of gently owned garments which, you can rest assured, are professionally laundered and inspected.

Because undergarments in their original form aren’t actually a plane or a tube, but a complex three dimensional arrangement of body fitted fabric, Mobius Strip Underwear aren’t technically a Mobius Strip, but rather a practical garment retooled in the spirit of this seemingly paradoxical one-sided object that has delighted generations of deep thinkers. Not just a novelty item in the sprit of the Mobius Strip, however, Mobius Strip Underwear is an actual garment that can be worn beneath other clothes, secretly, giving the you the confidence that you are moving through the world in a unique fashion. Let the next board meeting come alive with secret pleasure! Allow a boring date to become secretly, intellectually charged! Even everyday mundane tasks such a trip to the DMV may become a mind-bending adventure when wearing Mobius Strip Underwear!

Individual Descriptions:

Holiday Boxers

These red and green boxers are the perfect Christmas gift, and have the double distinction of containing a subtle Hound’s-tooth design, which we find the most disturbing pattern known to mankind.

Tighty-Whitey

These classic men’s white briefs affectionately known as the “tighty-whitey” are REALLY TIGHT when re-tooled into the Mobius Strip configuration, and perfectly embody the mind-twisting spirit of this product. Let your next trip to the gym be a complex one!

Victoria’s REALLY got a Secret!

This elegant and sparse woman’s “thong” undergarment has become an abstract art object in the hands of our skilled retoolers. Though admittedly impractical to begin with, they now must be seen to be believed! Not for the timid, as a gift, this item is recommended only for those with a mature and tolerant relationship.

The Sportsman

These manly boxers deceptively boast a pattern that depicts fishing, outdoor traveling, and bear hunting—masculine endeavors which can certainly stand the addition of facing the wilds while wearing a mathematical paradox close to your private areas. Perhaps the perfect gift for the contradictory loved one in your life.

Party In The Pants

This petite white woman’s panty depicts a couple of wine drinking, glittery dressed, cartoon party girls, one of which, perhaps, secretly has a theoretical math party going on in the underwear department.

Danger! Will Robinson!

This adventurous red cotton thong bikini for women or the really bored man seems to defy all logic! Where do the legs go? Where does the waist go? Who cares?! Can probably be worn three different ways, because none of them are right!

Game Board Boxers

The complex and rather insane geometric design on these boxers, consisting of a system of interconnecting blue, green, and brown hexagons and triangles makes you wonder what they’re smoking over there at Hanes. Were the wearer to be lost at sea in a lifeboat, the pattern could certainly double for a game board of the survivor’s invention. The addition of the Mobius Strip design, however, makes all of this superfluous.

The Shit Hits the Fan

The design on these rather boring boxers resembles nothing so much a little box fans, bringing to mind, for anyone with an imagination, both the literal and metaphorical interpretations of the above catchphrase. Perhaps these twisted undergarments could be the perfect gift for the conservative Republican on your holiday list.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Sock Monkey Studio


This is the place where exploited, low-wage craftspersons toil away day and night to create new life forms that even the Island of Misfit Toys won't take in!

Art vs. Craft

Strong To The Finish


I have been experimenting with various forms of sock monkey stuffing, and this one in particular is rather odd-- it's filled with spinach! You can see it in the arms, which have swelled to Popeye-like proportions.




I'm just kidding. You cant stuff a sock monkey with spinach!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Guest for Thanksgiving Dinner




This monkey, new to the world, is sporting stylish argyle pants with traditional arms and tail. He also has a nice smile.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Red Monkey

New to this world, this monkey is looking for a loving home-- though of course always welcome at mine. It's just that sitting on a shelf with like 40 or 50 other monkeys tends to make one either shrink or try to find a way to stand out. This one jingles like a pocket full of spare change. His Chihuahua like eyes seem like they could look around corners. This monkey could be comfortable on the bottom of the sea, where there is only a hint of the sun, or in the treetops, sparkling with morning dew, screeching in a language more understandable than English.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Mysterious!

I found this picture of this monkey sitting on my radiator. It looks a little uncomfortable, or maybe about ready to leave. I don't know if I sold this monkey to someone, or it's a my house still. I no longer am able to keep track of things like that. I wonder about that mark on its head, like a birthmark. I like those red eyes. They remind me of candy I used to eat when I was a little kid over at my Aunt Anna Marie's house.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Super Scope

EIGHT of these new collages will be exhibited in the John Riepenhof Experience mini-gallery which is in the Green Gallery http://www.thegreengallery.tk/ tonight-- with the Peter Barrickman opening, which is quite spectacular. I am very happy to be able to show these small collages at this unique venue! If you are in Milwaukee come by this evening. I will be spending most of my time in a little mousehole like room with a dinner roll for a door handle.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

New Collages!










I just finished 12 (twelve) (one dozen) new collages-- here are a few of them!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Hard to Describe


"Natty" would be the word I would use to describe this monkey, with its black and green checked design, along with the casual tilt of its head. Okay, I will use the word natty.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Fashion Leader

Upon closer examination you might notice that this marshmallow white monkey has a golden elephant for one eye. Very soon people will be able to do this, too, but right now, I guess sock monkeys beat us out on this one. It doesn't mean anything-- the golden elephant eye-- I don't think. It's just meant to be attractive, and I think it is.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Watch out!

Don't let that one milky, pale pink eye fool you, this monkey is solid and strong. I can't be entirely sure from this picture, but I think this may be one that had a large rock inside of its head or body, or both! Very heavy, and maybe not for small children. But substantial!

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Friendly

Friendly is the best way I can think of to describe this monkey. It's like he was genetically designed for friendliness, from the dog-like appearance (these aren't really monkeys, after all) to the one red eye and one pink eye. There is no doubt whatsoever about her friendliness. I'm sure there is more, however, going on than just that.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Perfect in Every Way

Simple, elegant. Everything you could possibly want in a sock monkey. Intelligence, and a piercing demeanor. Not just a sock monkey... but also... a friend.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Soulful

This is a very handsome monkey, even though I don't normally like the color blue. It has very nice eyes, and a nice argyle pattern. It seems to also be saying: I've been through a lot. Long drives, long walks, east coast, west coast, natural disasters, laundromats, fixed elections, shoes, boots, sock drawers, mismatches, and mending. And here I am, today, saying: take me home.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Where is my dictionary?

There is something just LOVEABLE about this monkey. Am I wrong? Just LOVEABLE!

Or is it LOVABLE? LOVEABLE? Or LOVABLE?

If you say LOVEABLE (or LOVABLE) enough times, it seems to turn into a product name, like a brand of soap or something.

The same can be said for... dare I say it... LOVE.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Beautiful Green

This monkey's head was filled with food coloring bottles, those little ones with the pointed caps. Eventually it leaked out, sometimes with the help of a loving individual. It was kind of messy, and I had to wash it. It kept changing, evolving. I wish most people had as much going on as this monkey.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

This is not a happy collage

I feel terribly guilty for being responsible for this collage, and for all the unhappiness it brings, and its generally disturbing nature. I can't blame the makers of the original images, really, I have to take the blame. For example, what was once a simple peperoni pizza now feels to me like a heart being ripped from, not only the chest of the person in question, but from their entire experience.

Monday, June 25, 2007

This monkey says HI!

I've lost track of the monkeys that I've made, and given away, and sold, and found new homes for, and photographed. For all I know they could be getting up on their own power and walking out of the house and going out on their own. I am particularly fond of this one, though he may already be living with someone else. It may be a she. He or she may have a name, now. Or maybe this monkey is still at home, with the other monkeys.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

It Takes T to Tango

This is a small collage. I'm not sure of the exact measurements... but it’s small. I think it's called "T." Can you guess why? If you guess right, and I'm wrong and that isn't the title, I guess that implicates us both. This is a shape that reminds me of a particular movie screen shape. It's not quite as severe as CinemaScope, but it's more wide than normal. This is "Wide Screen." Talking about movies, I see a scene from a famous movie in there. This shouldn't be so obvious, but I guess I couldn't help myself. Will I never learn?

Saturday, June 23, 2007

"N"

I think the title of this collage is "N" -- though I don't know if it has quotation marks around the N -- or why I felt compelled to do that now. I think that it's because one letter feels kind of naked by itself, and those quotation marks make it seem less lonely. Maybe the N stands for naked. It's a gold N that looks like it was added on later, though it wasn't. Maybe the N stands for No, it wasn't added on later. Is that the actor Tom Cruise standing in front of an American flag? I can't believe I included such an image. Maybe it works, though-- it's beyond me to decide. Maybe the N stands for Nicole Kidman, the actress. They used to be married, but Not Now. Maybe this collage is about all or Nothing. It's about everything being either forever, or Never.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Creepy

This is a fairly new collage. I feel like I was sinking kind of low with this one. Not that I think it's bad-- I like it. It's just that it's kind of obvious. And it doesn't look like something that I would do. I don't know. Maybe someone knocked me out and made this, and when I came to, I thought that I had done it. That's a creepy thought, and this is a creepy collage. But I really like it.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007